Netflix DVD Round-Up: The Foot Fist Way, Revolver, Southland Tales

So, it should come as no surprise that your beloved Captain Cinema has a Netflix account. It allows me to catch up on all the films I didn't deem worthy of viewing in a theater. And since this time of year tends to be kind of slow for theater-worthy new releases, I figured hey, why not spew my opinion about DVDs I get in the mail.

The Foot Fist Way

When I saw previews for this one in the spring of last year, I couldn't wait for it to come out. I could try and explain why, but the red-band trailer (courtesy of YouTube) will do a much better job:



Hilarious, right? Unfortunately, the movie didn't quite live up to my expectations. I think it was another case of said expectations being too high, still, there were a bunch of scenes where I laughed out loud. But that's the thing: it just felt like a bunch of funny scenes barely strung together by a very thin plot. Having said that, Danny McBride as Tae-Kwon-Do instructor Fred Simmons was laugh-out-loud awesome; he's got a long career in comedy ahead of him, no question. I've resolved that I'm going to buy the DVD anyway with the thought that repeated viewings will make it funnier over time. I mean, why not? It worked with Philadelphia.
Captain Cinema Rating: 3 out of 5 stars.

Revolver

Is there a more predictable filmmaker than Guy Ritchie? In terms of style and content, I think not. This one has it all: Jason Statham? Check. Gangsters and/or loan sharks? Check. Stylized violence? Check. Dialogue so impressed with itself the actors almost pause and break the fourth wall as if to give you time to soak in the so-called "hipness" of it all? A big fat check on that one. It's not that I don't enjoy Guy Ritchie films, I do, this one just happened to be extremely boring and seemingly went no where the entire movie. Honestly, if you've seen Lock, Stock and Two Smoking Barrels or Snatch, then you've seen Revolver, only you've seen much better versions of Revolver. Guy Ritchie is pretty much the AC/DC or The Ramones of filmmaking: the whole time you're watching a flick of his, you're thinking to yourself, "I know I haven't seen this before, but it feels like I have." Not that that's necessarily a bad thing, but this time, Revolver is a swing and a miss. I'm hoping that RocknRolla will be better than this one (it's already on my queue), but at the same time, I know I've essentially already seen it. What? Cockney accents make me laugh.
Captain Cinema Rating: 2 out of 5 stars.

Southland Tales

Southland Tales is a film that was written and directed by Richard Kelly. Now, if you're a cool as I am, you'll recognize that name as being the one that also wrote and directed Donnie Darko, which is a great film. It's not the most amazing film ever, as many pot-addled hippies and film schools rejects will have you believe, but it's still very well done. So how did Kelly do with his sophomore effort? Two words: Pure crap.

I mean, I get what Kelly was trying to say with this picture, but it was just a giant, meandering, mish-mashed, poorly thought out message movie that makes you shake your head with disgust after just a half-hour into the film. I think my biggest problem with Southland Tales is the choice of actors: it was basically just stunt casting. Almost every scene, I found myself saying, "oh hey, it's that guy," or "oh yeah, I recognize that woman." And I give them credit, they did the best they could with what they were given, but there's only so much they could do. Which leads me to think that every actor who read the script said to themselves, "I have no friggin' idea what the hell this is about, but it was written by the guy who did Donnie Darko, so it must be good!" See people, this is exactly why you don't pay attention when actors and actresses tell you who to vote for.

Overall, the story had a lot of potential, but it was done very poorly and after this one movie, I'm ready to put Richard Kelly in the same category as M. Night Shyamalan: a writer/director who once showed great promise but now just makes crap.
Captain Cinema Rating: 1 out of 5 stars.